Death

A vivid dream: I am at a really big garden party. Like the commencement gala at Brown. And everyone I've ever known is there. Like the guy I gave directions to on the subway once, and my grandparents, and the freshman year roommate I was sometimes snide to. And obviously my parents, and my sister and best friends and all the men I've ever loved.

And they all seem to remember everything that ever happened. All of it. Including the moments where I was petty or jealous or uncaring. But mostly, I think I was kind. Or at least tried to be. And mostly, I tried to help. And mostly, I cared. Often vehemently.

So I woke up relatively okay with myself. Because really, when you strip things down to the essentials, this is what really matters, isn't it?