Here is a picture of a fig tart. I eated this tart. Well, not this one. But one like it. Once.

This fig tart is a present for you. It is a bribe. Because I am sorry I haven't posted in a long time.

I thought I was done with having things to say. But then I realized that will never happen.

Also, I have been working on a side project. And it is demanding, like an annoying child.

Also, things happened. Lots of things. That kept me from writing. Little things, big things.

My hub cap fell off my car for one. And then I had to run down the street and get it and then also, get on my hands and knees and put it back on.

After, my hands were black. And then I had to find a place to wash them.

Also, my cell phone started oozing a radioactive...ooze. I think it was gel from the screen. And I thought I had ear cancer from the ooze. It got in my hair! Gross.

Also, my kidney was hurting one day. So I thought I had kidney failure. Then I remembered the Bodyworks exhibit. The healthy kidney was pretty and bluish pink. And tiny! Cute kidney!

The diseased kidney didn't even look like a kidney. Just vomit on a kidney-shaped thing.

Then I imagined my kidney looking sad and vomit-like. I couldn't write about this, do you understand?

Also, I was busy judging myself and beating myself up for being wrong.

Then I read the NYT article about MIA and had someone else to judge so that took the pressure off for a while.

I will post it for you to see. My favorite part is when she talks about people dying in Sri Lanka while eating truffled french fries! Also, she lives in Brentwood. What kind of person does that, even?

I saw Daljit Dhaliwal throw a chair at someone once. And now whenever I see her on TV I have to change the channel. Or I ask whoever has the remote "change the channel! change the channel!" while I cover my ears. I don't want to catch what she has. And you can catch things with your ears. Like ear cancer.

Also, I have been reading.

There is so much good writing in the world!

It makes me laugh. It makes me happy. It makes me sad.

It makes me feel not alone. Then it makes me depressed about not posting on my blog.

Thank you for reading my blog!