Stratagems

While I was on the east coast, V invited me to partake in the planning/research and development stages of a stratagem. Of course I obliged.

Those closest to me know that planning stratagems is like my favorite activity, next to eavesdropping on people's conversations and wild speculation - in fact, stratagems often necessitate eavesdropping and wild speculation, so really stratagems allow me to engage in all of my favorite activities at once. I am often invited by friends to help with the planning stages of complex stratagems. I am also sometimes lent out to friends of friends to consult on their stratagems. This is in part because I am so skilled at stratagems, and also, in part, because I am a 15-year old girl with an embarrassing amount of free time on my hands.

My rule for stratagems are that they must a) not harm anyone and b) that the end-goal should ideally be a happy ending. In other words, I like playing God. Albeit, a benevolent one. Not like, Zeus or whatever.

I also have a high success rate with stratagems, which is important because if you are not skilled at stratagems, they can backfire in your face and make you look like a real asshole/stalker/crazy person. And that's just unpleasant for everyone involved.

Stratagems require you to sharpen a number of skills in your arsenal. You must be MacGyver, a skilled thespian, a good journalist and know how and when to play dumb and how and when to reveal important information. Sometimes I am not good at this part because I don't have a poker face. You also need internet skills, rope, duct tape, an emergency kit, a camera phone, a facebook account, a sewing kit, contacts in the travel industry, the ability, space and time to throw a cocktail party on a whim and a general curiosity about people's lives. It also helps if you're a girl, because guys who engage in stratagems are just weird and creepy.