Dream

I am shooting a biopic about Katharine Hepburn. The real actress, Katharine Hepburn emerges from the dead in order to play herself. We also hire my friend Amy, who looks a little like Katharine Hepburn, to play a younger version of her. We shoot everything on Micheltorena Street, and at the car wash on Sunset in Echo Park. The gaffer steals a keychain from the car wash boutique store that sells air fresheners and dusty packs of M'nMs. As a result, we have to shut down production. Katharine Hepburn is sad about this. "Now I have to return to the underworld," she tells me, irritated that I brought her back for naught.

"Are you going to Hades?" I ask her, completely perplexed.

"No, just the cemetery in Glendale," she says.

I wake up, get some water. Then return to sleep. This time, I dream that it is years later, and I am writing a book about the making of the Katharine Hepburn biopic. I've locked myself indoors and the world outside is a terrifying place. There is a serial killer on the loose. Then there is a knock at the door. It is James Franco.

"I hear you make biopics with people starring themselves," he says, "I want you to make a movie about me and James Dean and me playing James Dean."

"I can't do that," I tell him.

"Why not?" he asks.

"Because that's not a movie. That's reality," I tell him, "Come up with a better idea and I'll consider it."

James Franco slumps on my couch and contemplates movie ideas while I water my plants.


Themes to consider:

crime
death
celebrity
making art
I've lived in LA too long