Note to self

The idea of something is not the something in question. Make this your mantra. Say it to yourself every day. Understanding this, knowing this, is perhaps your greatest challenge in life since you inhabit a world of ideas and deem it far superior to the world of reality (which, quite honestly, it is). Whatever far-fetched fantasy you're entertaining at the moment, stop it. Stop it right now. Seriously, what are you, 14? Kind of. Except maybe even less courageous than when you were 14. And far more aware of consequences. I once knew a guy who consistently teetered on the edge of the racism cliff, always about to fall right off, but not quite. I would tense up around him, not sure if today was the day of the big jump. Now I see my own personal cliff. It has nothing to do with race. But it is just as fucking scary. I think about the jump and I tense. No good will come of this. Do not jump. Stop. Turn back. There will be no jump. Get back in your fucking car and drive away from the fucking cliff. As K would say, "Stop it Khorans. Stop it stop it sopt it stop it." Okay, okay. I am.