Walls

In the movies, frustrated men punch holes into walls. This doesn't just happen in movies, I actually know at least four men (many of whom are extremely calm and non-violent) who have punched holes into walls at some point of their lives. One man I know did it because he didn't get a job that he desperately wanted. My friend P got a terrible review on his book which caused him to punch a hole in his wall. Two men I know did this in the aftermath of failed relationships. This seems to be a very effective way of recovering from heartbreak: punch a hole in a wall, get on with your life. Women never punch holes into walls, at least as far as I know. I am willing to go as far as to generalize on this. I don't think there would be an actual payoff to this activity for us. First of all, who would fix the wall? And how would we explain the damage to our landlords? And what would it really accomplish? Also, I think I would break my hand in the process of punching a hole in a wall and then I wouldn't be able to type or write and I have to take this into consideration. Because then I would have to tape my voice into a tape recorder and have someone transcribe the tape and have you ever heard your voice on a recording device? I am always startled by how remarkably vapid my voice sounds when I hear a recorded version of it. It is the voice of an intellectually inferior human being. It is upsetting, let's not talk about it. And, moreover, every time we walked past the wall with the hole in it we would think about whatever caused us to punch the hole in the first place and then we'd be back to square one. Complaining and bitching about our problems seems to be a much more effective route to deal with a troubling situation.

Which is why we just talk behind people's backs or send whiney emails to our friends.

Alessandro told me last night that I fall into another category though. He used the following metaphor:

"Most people, when they are burned by a pot on the stove, whether they are men or women, don't want to think about the pot ever again. They don't want to go near the pot. You, on the other hand, bring a chair up to the pot and then you stand on the chair and inspect the pot from different angles and take notes, and ask yourself what would happen if you turned the heat down or touched it from another side, and you start researching brands of pots and brands of stoves, and then you move your chair to the other side and invite all your friends and family into the kitchen to investigate the pot and offer their ideas and conclusions about the pot and then it becomes a communal brainstorming session about how not to get burned by the pot this time."

I thought this is how everyone did things? Also, I thought we were all having fun in the kitchen? I was. I laughed and then felt more and more troubled as the night went on and then brooded and considered calling Alessandro back but he is in DC and finally I just threw my hands up and accepted the fact that I am a phenomenal community-oriented problem solver.

Then this morning I got up early and drafted a troubled five-page email to Alessandro.

This is my version of punching a hole into a wall.